#98 Last Glance

2:04 pm It happens on the third day of fourth grade waiting for recess. A kid named Mike swings at me I dodge he comes back and swings again. I hide under a table. Our teacher is two doors down. He doesn’t hear us. I can’t do anything so I run. He races after me. 
I turn. I slide under his swing. He falls. I get up and I try to reason with him but he won’t respond. I forget he’s mute. Our teacher is still in the teachers’ lounge. I have to finally stand up for myself so I swing. He hits the floor hard. His head cracks and I feel guilty. 
He will need six stitches and two staples and end up with a broken nose. Today I swear not to use force ever again.  

But this promise doesn’t last long. 

Two years later I am in sixth grade lunch at Burger King.  We are eating outside. I am with six friends. A girl and her boyfriend are 
walking inside. One of my friends throws a burger at the girl. She starts to swing at me for some reason, blaming me for something I didn’t do. I can’t hit her. She is three years older than me I am. 
But one of my friends I was with begins to fight with me. 
Since she’s a girl, she can hit her. In the meantime, I am ready to fight her boyfriend but it’s clear he doesn’t want any trouble so we wait and think of a plan to not get in to trouble. 
I fake to hit him but I get his chin a little. Too hard. I break his jaw and we will never see those two again. 

Now to this day I don’t ever have the intention to fight; I have never wanted to hurt someone. 

#97 Empty

Dear Diary,

It is ten o’clock at night. My best friend Devin is feeling down. He’s so tired of the way everyone has been treating him. He’s tired of trying, of getting hurt, of being lost. When I was talking to him I could help but tell him these words: Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I’ve cried in my room when nobody was watching. Nobody knows how many times I’ve lost hope, how many times I’ve felt like giving up, how many times I’ve felt like I’m about to snap , but I just don’t for the sake of others.  Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head when I’m sad, how horrible they truly are. You think to yourself ‘is this the real me or is this just the person the world made me to be?’ You feel so hopeless. So empty like you’re worth nothing. Like there’s more hope in your life. You sit there and think to yourself is it really worth it? Will there be a new beginning or a new ending? No one knows the thought you go through. NO. ONE. KNOWS. THE. REAL. YOU.

#96 I Was Raised

I was raised!!

I didn’t just grow up.

I was taught to speak when I enter a room, say please and and thank you, to have respect for my elders and to get up off my lazy butt and let the elder in the room have my chair.

Say ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’, lend a helping hand to those in need.

Hold the door for the person behind me say ‘excuse me’ when it was needed and to love people for who they are and not what I can get from them.

I was also taught to treat people the way I would want to be treated.

I was raised to be me and not what everyone wanted me to be.

I was raised to be a kind, respectful, honest, and loyal person.

I was raised.

 

#95 Racial Identity

She was walking to the park
Her friends and sister by her side
She noticed something was little off
Something different about the color
The color of her skin
She felt different from everyone else
All she wanted to do is fit in with others
But then she took another look at everyone again
Noticed that not everyone is the same but they are different too
So she took the time to talk to others
About how they felt about their color,
Got to know more that she wasn’t the only person
That felt that same way 

#94 Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
I never thought that being in summer school can be so fun but some teachers can be mean some can be nice. I always used to hate coming to school because you have to get up at 6:00 AM every day. What kid would want to do that? It’s too much. Kids need their sleep and they don’t like to get up early. Becoming a man means you got to try new things sometimes. Waking up every morning for school helps me not forget what it takes to be a man, like my dad. After waking up every morning I became responsible to do things on my own.

#93 Last Glance

2:04 pm It happens on the third day of fourth grade waiting for recess. A kid named Mike swings at me I dodge he comes back and swings again.

I hide under a table.
Our teacher is two doors down. He doesn’t hear us.
I can’t do anything so I run. He races after me.
I turn. I slide under his swing. He falls. I get up and I try to reason with him but

he won’t respond. I forget he’s mute. Our teacher is still in the teachers’ lounge. I have to finally stand up for myself so I swing.
He hits the floor hard. His head cracks and I feel guilty.
He will need six stitches and two staples and end up with a broken nose. Today I swear not to use force ever again.

But this promise doesn’t last long.

Two years later I am in sixth grade lunch at Burger King.

We are eating outside. I am with six friends. A girl and her boyfriend are walking inside. One of my friends throws a burger at the girl. She starts to swing at me for some reason, blaming me for something I didn’t do.

I can’t hit her. She is three years older than me I am.
But one of my friends I was with begins to fight with me.
Since she’s a girl, she can hit her.
In the meantime, I am ready to fight her boyfriend but it’s clear he doesn’t

want any trouble so we wait and think of a plan to not get in to trouble.
I fake to hit him but I get his chin a little. Too hard. I break his jaw and we will never see those two again.

Now to this day I don’t ever have the intention to fight; I have never wanted to hurt someone.

#92 Older Brother

I look up to you; I want to be like you
We always hang out together
We look at shoes together
We call each other brothers
But it is a best friend thing
You take me everywhere
I can tell you things and trust you
I love calling you my older brother
You’ve gone to jail
But I was still there with you
We want to get closer together but sometimes
We can’t, you have work and I have sports
But next time I see you will be the best
I hope.

WRITE FOR LIFE.